


it's only magic

by TheIttyBitty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (no it's not), Castiel/Dean Winchester UST, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Platonic Sex, Sex Magic, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Witch Castiel (Supernatural), Witchcraft, Witches, it's totally platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIttyBitty/pseuds/TheIttyBitty
Summary: Sex magic is simple as long as you have a willing participant. It's simple... until feelings get involved.





	it's only magic

A gasp. A moan. Completion. 

The spell is sealed. 

Castiel takes a moment to collect himself before rolling quickly off of the bed. He wipes himself clean with a tissue and then tosses the box of them onto the bed. 

Dean turns his head to look at them, blinking dazedly. He hasn’t moved yet, still laying there with spunk all over his stomach. He swallows. 

“Are you alright?” Castiel asks. He has already pulled on his pants and is searching the floor for his shirt. “Do you need something to drink?”

Dean blinks. Slowly, he reaches out to take a tissue and begin his own cleanup. “No. No, i’m... i’m fine.” 

“Peanuts? I have a bowl in the living room.” 

Dean sits up to make sure he’s got everything. He’s not as cheerful as he usually is after sex. Castiel hears him sigh. 

“Nah, i’m not really hungry.”

Charm bags are tied to the headboard, and Castiel retrieves them quickly to make sure the spell has stuck to each one. He sets them out on the bed, but keeps one eye on Dean as the man finally begins to dress. He’s very happy with how they’ve turned out. They’ve been much stronger since he’s started using sex magic. 

“You seem lethargic, today. You’re not ill, are you?”

“Ah, no. I just- you know-” Dean rubs a hand over his face.

Castiel straightens up. From Dean, this is worrying behavior. Well, he thinks so, anyway. They’ve only been doing this regularly for a couple months now. It’s just that Dean is usually in better spirits when they’ve finished. 

“What?”

Dean doesn’t look at him. He pulls on his shirt and looks up at the ceiling. He shakes his head. “I don’t know. Life, I guess.”

“Is it finances? Because now that my charm bags are taking off I can afford to pay you more.” He goes to his bedside table and takes a wad of money from the drawer. He expects excitement, but when Dean takes the money he still won’t meet Castiel’s gaze. 

“No, uh... no.” 

Now Castiel is genuinely worried. He’s never seen Dean so subdued. A spark of panic has lodged itself in his chest and refuses to be moved. 

“Dean, if you need to talk-”

“No, um. Actually I should go.” Dean chews on his bottom lip. He’s still looking off to the side. His cheeks are flushed. 

“Do you want to take some cookies? I made them this morning.” 

Dean is backing away, though. Already he’s out of the bedroom doorway. “No thanks. I gotta go.”

Castiel follows, but Dean is at his front door. “I’ll talk to you later.” Castiel calls out. The door shuts behind Dean. 

Castiel stands in the middle of the living room for a long time, long enough that, if observed by some outside source, one might wonder if he hand managed to freeze time. 

It’s just- this is not how Castiel’s encounters with Dean usually go. Usually Dean likes to eat afterwards. Sometimes Castiel cooks, sometimes they go out. They talk. Castiel would even say that they’ve been becoming friends. 

He likes having Dean around. Not just for the sex and the resultant energy that he uses in his spells, he enjoys having Dean around. He remembers his hesitancy to put the ad for a sexual partner in the local witchcraft newsletter, and the subsequent flood of creepy emails he’d gotten after. And then there was Dean, who was not a witch but apparently friends with some. 

Sweet, that had been Castiel’s first impression. Charmingly self-deprecating, especially given how aesthetically pleasing he is. Of course, it would have all been for naught if they hadn’t been compatible. To Castiel’s happy surprise, they’ve been very compatible. 

But now, this. This... sudden coldness. Dean has never left so fast. He always stays. They always talk. So what has changed?

Castiel makes his way back to his small kitchen. The tray of cookies that he may or may not have baked specifically for Dean sits untouched on the counter. Castiel picks one up, but doesn’t eat it. He stews. 

The next time he texts Dean to ask if he'd like to come over, the response curdles his stomach. 

[sent]

_Dean, I have a new batch of charms. Would you like to come over in the next few days?_

[received]

_I don't think i can, cas._

[sent]

_Would next week be better?_

[received]

_cas i don't really think i can do this anymore at all._

[sent]

_Is it a money issue? I can give you more, if you need._

[received]

_i'm not a whore_

Castiel blinks. The text has caught him by surprise. His heart pounds. 

[sent]

_Dean, that's not at all what I was saying. I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort. Can I call you?_

[received]

_now's not a good time_

[sent]

_Dean i'd really like to talk about this._

[sent]

_i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend you_

[sent]

_dean i really am sorry, can you call me when you get time?_

He does not get a text back. 

It is not a good month for Castiel. He does not cry. He does not feel for all the world as if he's been broken up with. He does not watch Dirty Dancing on repeat. He does not miss Dean. It is a bad month for entirely different reasons that do not include Dean at all. A pipe under his sink busts; the bats that live in his attic seem to have become very agitated and they're making entirely too much noise; the sales of his charm bags plummet and he just doesn't really feel like making more. He doesn't really feel like going out. He doesn't feel like doing much of anything. 

It's his neighbor that finally gets him out of the house. She comes over asking about a dream charm, and how can Castiel refuse? Of course, he doesn't have any of the ingredients. He kicks himself, mentally. He used to have such a good stock, when did he get so lax?

The occult shop is close enough to Castiel's apartment that he can walk. He loves the smell of it, the herbs and incense. His spirit calms as soon as he steps foot inside. It's such a nice little place, and they're good enough to display some of his charms at the counter. The charms are not as good as they were, of course. But, well, what can he do?

He's browsing the jars full of herbs along the far wall when he hears a familiar voice. He freezes, one hand stretched towards the lavender. 

"You know what you need?" Says the voice. It is not speaking to him. 

"Yeah, I know." Says another. 

Castiel does not turn around, but lowers his arm and continues to stare at the herbs like they're the most interesting thing he's ever seen. Does he need some basil too? How about chamomile? 

"Cas?" Says the first voice. It's quiet. Tentative.

Castiel does his best to look as though he hadn't heard the voice already. Casual. He turns. There's Dean with his hands in his pockets. "Oh, hello."

"Hi."

Castiel says nothing. He doesn't feel particularly obligated to carry on a conversation with someone who doesn't seem to like him. 

Dean scratches the back of his head. A red tinge begins to bloom in his cheeks. "I- um, i'm here with my little brother." He gestures to a young man browsing occult books at the other end of the shop. Castiel would not describe him as _little_ , he's got to be taller than Dean. "He's getting into witchcraft and stuff."

"Good for him." Says Castiel. He does not care that Dean is wearing a shirt the exact shade of green as his eyes. He does not care that he can smell Dean's cologne. 

"I remembered you mentioning that you liked this shop. It seems... cool?"

"Dean, you don't have to talk to me."

"What?"

Castiel sighs. It does not make him feel better. "You don't need to feel obligated to talk to me just because i'm here."

"No, I- uh..." He trails off. His shoulders slump. He takes a step closer and lowers his voice. "I'm really sorry, about what happened. I- I was- I didn't-" He huffs. He takes his hands out of his pockets and crosses his arms over his chest. "I know I left things really badly, and i'm sorry."

There was a time, when Castiel was younger, when this likely would have made him break down. He would have said _oh, it's okay, are we best friends_ _again?_ But Castiel is older now, and he's not just going to forget what's happened no matter how much Dean smells like cinnamon and evergreen. But, he supposes, he can try to forgive. 

"Life goes on." He says. He does not mention that he hasn't been out of the house in a month. 

Dean nods. He looks over toward his brother, then back to Castiel. "So, you got someone else already?"

"Hmm?"

"For your, uh, your spells?"

"Oh. No." The homemade soap on the table near Castiel's elbow has suddenly become very interesting. 

"It's been a month." 

Castiel shrugs one shoulder. He turns a bar of lavender soap over in his hands.

"Why haven't you?"

"I don't really see how that's your business, considering you don't even seem to think we're friends." Castiel is not bitter. His voice, however, may have come out a little sharper than he'd meant. 

Dean swallows. He looks away again. "Yeah, I deserve that."

And then, there is the wave of _please come back, please like me_ _again_. It is, by far, the worst thing Castiel has ever felt. He will not express it. He opens his mouth. "If you had just told me what I had done, I could have fixed it. I didn't mean to upset you." 

Dean shifts from one foot to the other. He does look at Castiel now, but his expression is not one that Castiel can cipher. He opens his mouth. 

"Hey, Dean!" 

Castiel had not noticed Dean's brother bounding up, and it startles him so much that he drops his soap. 

Dean jumps too, and coughs quickly to hide his surprise. "Yeah. Sam. What's up?"

Sam holds out a book for appraisal. "Can I get this one? I know it's a little expensive but it's got _everything_." 

"Uh, yeah. Sure. That's fine, Sam." 

Sam looks confused for a moment. Presumably, he was expecting a _no_. He frowns at Dean and then, finally, notices Castiel standing there. 

"Hi!" He says, brightly.

"Uh, this is Cas." Dean says by way of introduction, "Cas, this is my little brother Sam."

"It's nice to meet you, Sam." Castiel offers his hand and Sam takes in enthusiastically. 

"Nice to meet you, too. Hey, you're the guy that Dean used to help with spells and stuff, right?"

"That is correct, yes."

"That's so cool. He was always talking about witchy stuff. That's what got me interested."

Castiel raises his eyebrows. "Really?" He looks to Dean, who shrugs. "Well, if you have any questions, feel free to ask."

Sam's eyes brighten. "I do, actually. I have so many questions. Can you come to lunch with us? We could talk witchcraft over food."

"Ah, I don't want to intrude."

"No way, you're not intruding. We'd love it if you came, right Dean?"

Dean looks uncomfortable. "Um. Yeah, that's fine. You eaten, Cas?"

"Well, no."

They go for barbecue. It's not Sam's fault that it's extremely awkward. He has a million questions and he's very excited about all of them. Dean is quiet. He picks at his food, but doesn't seem to be enjoying it very much. 

When Dean goes to the bathroom about twenty minutes in, Sam waits until he's well out of sight before turning back to Castiel.

"So what's going on with you guys?"

Castiel was not expecting this question. He's not sure how much Sam knows. 

"What do you mean?"

Sam gives him a look. "I _mean_ what's going on? A couple months ago he was going over to your house once a week and talking about you all the time and then all of a sudden he stopped. And he looked really awkward in the shop and _now_ he's being weird and quiet. Did you have a fight or something?"

Castiel looks toward the direction of the bathroom, determines that Dean is not on his way back, and sighs. "I wish I knew. I fear I might have done something to upset him, but I don't know what. He stopped talking to me."

Sam frowns. He says, "He misses you."

"Well he's the one who stopped talking to me, so I don't think that's true."

"It is, he's been so freaking mopey all month I can hardly stand it."

"I don't know, Sam. I wish I did."

Sam frowns harder. "Were you guys- I mean- were you like _together_ , or-" He lets the sentence hang. 

"Um." Castiel is not sure how to answer this question. It should be simple. No, they weren't a couple. But they weren't exactly _nothing_ either, were they? "I, um. No, we weren't a couple or anything."

Sam looks at him. Castiel can see him working out the pause in the sentence, Castiel's hesitancy. He's too smart, Castiel thinks.

"Listen," Says Sam, steepling his fingers on the table. "I don't know what was going on, but Dean- he gets _attached_. He liked you a lot."

"Well I liked him too."

"No, I mean he _really_ liked you. Sometimes he gets, you know, scared about stuff like that."

Castiel considers this. He considers the arrangement, the money, the distance he always kept after they'd had sex. He'd only been trying to keep things professional, but maybe it was too professional. Maybe it should have been more about friendship and connection. Maybe they should have talked about it more. 

"Hmm." He says. 

Dean does come back soon after, and Castiel tries to look at him better. He tries to see if he can catch something in the set of Dean's mouth that he'd missed before, something in he furrow of his brow.

"Dude, you're staring." Says Dean.

Castiel sits back in his chair. He crosses his arms over each other. He says, "Hmm."

Dean's eyes shift one way, then the other. "Uh, okay?"

Castiel looks away from Dean, so as not to be accused of staring again, but he _thinks_. 

By the time the meal is done, Castiel has come to a decision. When they've exited the restaurant, Castiel catches Dean's elbow. 

"We need to talk."

"Cas-"

"Listen. One conversation, that's all. And if you still don't want to talk to me anymore, you don't have to."

Dean looks at him. He chews his bottom lip. He looks over at his shoulder at Sam, who is standing a few steps away reading his new book. "Okay." He says, finally. "Let me, uh, drop off Sam at home. And then i'll come by your place."

"Okay." Castiel tries not to let his relief color his voice. "I'll see you then."

It's only once he gets back home that Castiel realizes his house is a mess. He hasn't cleaned in a week, and there are no desserts at all. By the time he hears a knock on the door he has cookies in the oven and the dishes are half done. He swings the door open still wiping his wet hands on his pants. 

Dean has his hands in his pockets again. He says, "I like your apron."

"Oh," Castiel looks down, little clouds and angel wings pepper the apron. "Thank you. Come in, come in. Do you want to sit down?"

"Is this a sit down conversation?"

"I think so, yes."

"Should I be worried?"

"No, of course not. I'm not going to say anything _mean_."

Dean sidles in and makes himself comfortable on the couch while Castiel goes to check on the cookies. "Well, I was kind of a dick to you. Maybe I deserve it."

Castiel does not answer until he's back in the living room. He sits down next to Dean, almost sideways so they can talk face-to-face. "Dean. I did not intend to make you feel worthless in any way, or that I didn't care about you-"

"Cas, look, what I said- I didn't mean-" He scrubs at his face with one hand. "I knew what I was getting into, you know? I knew that I would be having sex for money, I had no right to make you feel like you weren't- I don't know- kind to me. I was just..."

"What?"

"I don't know."

"Upset?"

Dean doesn't answer. He looks down at his hands, clasped in his lap. 

"You didn't think I cared about you. That's my fault. I... I thought that I was keeping things professional, but I think maybe I was unintentionally cruel."

"No, I mean, we always hung out after. You made cookies, there was food. You never rushed me out or anything. I just-" Dean puts his hands on his knees and takes a deep breath. "Cas, it was starting to feel like a relationship, but it _wasn't_ a relationship. We weren't boyfriends, I was just someone you were paying, and it... it kinda fucked me up. 'Cause I- I _wanted_ to be in a relationship, and you didn't."

"Dean, i'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay. It's not your fault."

"Dean," Castiel reaches out to touch Dean's shoulder, his back. He feels that contact is terribly important, although he can't really say why. The way Dean leans into his touch makes his heart quicken. "You have become incredibly important to me. I didn't- sometimes i'm terribly socially inept. I... didn't quite recognize the situation in time, and i'm sorry about that. If you wanted to try again..."

Dean's attention is on him again. His lips are parted, his expression is open. "Try again?"

"We could go out?" Castiel tries to keep his voice light, but his feeling is coming through. "On a date?"

"Cas, I don't want a pity date."

"It's not." Castiel says quickly. "It's not a pity date. I like you so, so much. When you stopped talking to me I- I didn't do very well. I missed you so much."

Dean's eyes have widened. He looks away, and then looks back. His adam's apple bobs as he swallows. "Yeah," He says. "I missed you too."

"I'll take you out, anywhere you want to go."

A soft laugh escapes Dean's mouth. "You don't have to do that, Cas."

"I want to. I haven't made you feel very special, and I should."

"That's not your responsibility."

"Maybe not. But I want to." He rubs his thumb over a spot on Dean's back. 

There is a blush rising in Dean's cheeks again, and Castiel thinks that it's so very pretty. "You are so handsome." He says aloud. "And sweet. That's the first thing I thought when I met you, that you were sweet."

Dean ducks his head and rubs the back of his neck. "Alright, Cas, calm down. You don't have to- I already agreed to go out with you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Oh so _that's_ what you were angling for."

" _Dean_ ,"

Dean doesn't answer. He leans in, slowly, until his breath tickles Castiel's lips. His hand is on Castiel's leg. Nothing is real. This is a dream. It's not as if they haven't kissed before, had sex before. This is not the same. Before it had been a means to an end, and now it is an end unto itself. Dean's lips are an end, pressing softly against his. Dean's hand, squeezing his thigh, is an end. Castiel's hand in Dean's hair, on his jaw, on the back of his neck, is an end. It's soft. It's all so soft, and so gentle. 

Castiel deepens the kiss, his tongue slipping into Dean's mouth, and he feels Dean shudder. Dean has a handful of his shirt, pulling him closer, closer, closer. He feels a little juvenile climbing onto Dean's lap, straddling him, but Dean seems to like it. 

"Jesus," He breathes when Castiel kisses his neck. "Are we doing this?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah," Dean's hands are on Castiel's back, on his hips, on his ass. "God. Yeah."

"Take your shirt off." Says Castiel. 

Sex is different with connection, Castiel finds. It's not as if he were a virgin before this, but he'll admit that he's never really felt connected to anyone he's had sex with. It was all one-night-stands and relationships that didn't quite work. This is different. It's deeper. It's _emotional_. 

This time, when it's over, Castiel doesn't get up. 

There's not really room for both of them to lay on the couch, but Dean is on his back and Castiel is draped halfway over him and somehow it works. Dean is warm, and he's soft, and Castiel genuinely feels as though he could lay here forever. 

"Hey, I don't want to be a buzzkill." Says Dean. "But I think I smell something burning."

Castiel's heart drops. "The cookies!" He scrambles up, thankful for the first time that the kitchen is basically in the same room as the living room. The cookies are a little burnt, but still edible, and Castiel sets the pan of them on the counter with a sigh. 

"Well, they're not as good as the last ones."

"I'll eat 'em." Dean says, from the couch. 

"You will?"

"Later. Come lay with me some more?"

Castiel is warm. He is naked. He is happy. Also, there are cookies. 

He goes to lay down with Dean again. 


End file.
